


Shine

by marvelousmsmol



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Akumatized Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, F/M, Hurt Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Ladynoir | Adrien Agreste as Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng as Ladybug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:47:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28844805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelousmsmol/pseuds/marvelousmsmol
Summary: Feeling the weight of her responsibilities as Guardian and Ladybug, Marinette is almost akumatized by Hawkmoth.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 4
Kudos: 159





	Shine

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually something I wrote a while ago but realized I never posted it to ao3, only tumblr.

If people had any idea who their words were directed at, it probably wouldn’t change a thing, but at least they would have to look her in the eye as they said them, wrote them. Marinette was sure of that, even more so this morning as she sat on the front steps of the school, eyes locked on her phone screen. Another headline, another article, they kept appearing one after the other. It was a never ending stream of criticism and all she could do was sit there and watch as they flooded her notifications, and each of them were about her. 

Being Ladybug wasn’t easy, but she wasn’t supposed to say that, wasn’t even supposed to think it, probably. The idea itself had to be some kind of crime. Yet, she wanted to scream it. Tell everyone how much she held inside. The strong desire to do so kept trying to get out, but now others were screaming it for her, but not as a plead of understanding. They were saying every word they could think of to get the point across that she wasn’t good enough. Some of them the same words she had often thought herself. 

“What do I do, Tikki,” Marinette asked, forcing herself to shut her phone off. 

“Don’t listen to them, Marinette,” Tikki said, peeking out from the purse hanging off her shoulder. “You know that they’re wrong.”

“But, they’re all saying it.”   
  


“That’s not true either,” Tikki said. “Have you looked at the Ladyblog recently? Alya’s been working hard to counter all of that negative stuff, and a lot of other people have, too. More people than you realize.”

“I haven’t been on the top of my game recently.” Marinette shook her head, swallowing down a nervous laugh. “I’ve taken too long defeating akumas. More people have been put in danger during attacks-”

“That’s not your fault, Marinette,” Tikki said sternly. “Hawkmoth is the one causing these problems. Not you. You’ve worked so hard to fix everything.”   
  


“I could be doing better,” Marinette said. “I could… I-”

Marinette paused as she lost her train of thought, her phone chiming again. There was no point in trying to think of ways she could improve herself. The fact was, Marinette was already doing her best. 

She was doing the best she could as Ladybug, as Marinette, trying to balance school, and designing, and being a superhero for God’s sake. Where was there to go now expect for down? By the looks of it, she seemed to be heading that way. 

_ Why not help it along,  _ Marinette thought to herself, standing to her feet. 

“Tikki, we’re skipping class today,” Marinette said. 

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea-”   
  


“Nope,” Marinette said, a popping sound forming with the “p.” She started walking down the sidewalk, moving in the opposite direction as the sea of students that were all headed to classes that morning. It would be fine. No one would notice-

“Marinette!” Alya was calling to her from the top of the steps. Marinette turned on her heel, putting a smile on her face. “Where are you going?”   
  


“I forgot my homework at home,” Marinette said. “I’m going to go back and get it. I’ll probably be late.”   
  


“Girl, you were going to be on time for once,” Alya said. She laughed and shook her head, but Marinette just felt the pit in her stomach grow bigger.

“Yeah, silly me,” Marinette said. “I’ll be back.”   
  


Alya waved goodbye to her and Marinette started off again. She knew she couldn’t walk all the way across to the street to the bakery. Her parents would see her and then this little escapade would be ruined. Instead, Marinette turned at the end of the street after she had made sure no one was watching. That’s when she took off running. 

Marinette had become increasingly more surprised with herself that she could run for miles and miles now without getting winded, and she didn’t stop. It almost made her feel better. Her brain released adrenaline that pushed her even farther, and she felt weightless. Her feet carried her far away from the school and brought her to a place that she had come rarely, but still had memorized the route to.

“What are we doing here,” Tikki asked. 

Marinette stood, bouncing up and down on her feet, staring at the door to Master Fu’s apartment- old apartment. Marinette typed in the code on the keypad and pushed it open. “I just want to see something.” 

When Marinette stepped into the room she immediately noticed the dust that had started to form on every surface. It had only been a few weeks since Master Fu had left Paris, but this place was clearly already moving on without his presence there to keep it tidy. 

Marinette walked over to the dresser that Miracle Box had been kept on, which was now hidden under her bed, wrapped in her scrap fabric where she hoped her parents wouldn’t dig around. 

“How do you think Master Fu was so sure in his decision to give the Miraculous to Chat and I,” Marinette asked her Kwami, who was no longer hiding and flying out in the open. “I mean, us saving Master Fu those times… Couldn’t that have just been a fluke? Instinct?”

“Even if it was just instinct, Marinette, having the instinct to help someone without even thinking about it is the best quality of a hero,” Tikki said. “Master Fu chose correctly. You and this Chat Noir… It was destined to be this way.” 

“Even if no one else thinks so,’’ Marinette asked. 

“If it had been up to everyone else in Paris to choose the Miraculous holder’s they would have made the wrong decision.” 

Marinette frowned. She bent down on her knees, leaning her head up against the wood dresser. A deep sigh escaped her. Things had been so easy before now, and even though she knew it was pointless to wish for things to go back to the way they were before, she still did. She didn’t know how to share the burden with anyone else. It felt as though if she tried it would mean she had failed as Ladybug, and as the Guardian. 

All of the sudden, Marinette felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up. Her eyes shot up and she jumped to her feet. Marinette spun around, looking for wherever whatever she was sensing was coming from.

“Tikki, spots on,” Marinette said quickly. She let out a shaky breath as she transformed, hand immediately going to the yo-yo that was attached on her hip, but her hand never reached

Ladybug gasped. It felt as though a needle were piercing her back, and she feel back to her knees. 

_ “Well, this is a surprise,” _ A voice spoke inside her head, and though Ladybug had never heard it before, she knew immediately that there was only one person it could be. _ “I never expected when I sent my Akuma after someone with such conflicted, painful emotions that it would be you, Ladybug. Aren’t you supposed to be the human incarnation of goodness and sunshine, or something like that.” _ _   
  
_

“Get out of my head,” Ladybug said through gritted teeth.

Hawkmoth laughed.  _ “Why would I? When we finally get to speak to one another again. Just the two of us, too. There’s no mangy cat around is there?”  _

“What do you want,” Marinette asked.

_ “Well, I was planning on akumatizing someone, but seeing as it’s you… I might just let things stay they way they are for a while,”  _ Hawkmoth said. _ “Clearly, this is causing you pain as you’re trying to fight it, and if Chat Noir does show up, he’ll be so angry that I’ll end up getting two Akumas.”  _

Ladybug let out a deep breath through her nose, trying to calm the pain and anger that was flaring up inside her. She needed to try and relax, find a way out of this, or at least stay calm enough till someone did find her. Without trying to move anything else, Ladybug moved her fingers to slide the two pieces of her yo-yo apart. She found Chat’s number to the communicator on his baton and typed SOS, sending it immediately. Hopefully, he’d be able to find her location. 

“So,” Ladybug said, hoping that there was no way Hawkmoth could know what she’d just done. “I suppose you and I are just going to have to chat for awhile?”   
  


_ “I am curious to know exactly what’s causing this lack of positivity in you,” _ Hawkmoth said.  _ “Could it be the news? Your public opinion is dropping?” _

“What makes you think that,” Ladybug said. “I do have a life outside trying to stop you. Maybe someone just made me angry today and you got lucky.”

_ “Luck is your thing,”  _ Hawkmoth said.  _ “Though, it seems soon it might be mine. However, I can’t believe this is simply the feelings of a whiny teenager. It hurts not to be appreciated, doesn’t it? Especially after all you do for them. They hate you.” _ _   
  
_

“No. No, they don’t.”   
  


_ “They do. They’re screaming it online, on TV. They hate you, Ladybug,”  _ Hawkmoth said.  _ “Doesn’t it hurt? Doesn’t it make you want to do something about it? Make them adore you again?” _ _   
  
_

Ladybug squeezed her eyes shut tight. Her hands came up to cover her ears, but that would do nothing to block out his words. “I don’t need them to adore me.”   
  


_ “You say that, but is it really true,”  _ Hawkmoth said.  _ “What are you if they don’t see you as their hero. A vigilante? Worthless? Unneeded?” _ _   
  
_

“That’s not true-”   
  


_ “Of course, it’s true!” _ Hawkmoth shouted, and Ladybug yelped in pain. Her cry only made him laugh more, proof that he was winning. 

“No!” Ladybug screamed back. She took several deep breaths and slowly lowered her hands from her ears. “I don’t need to be needed… I don’t need to be their hero. I know I am one anyway. And, it sucks that it took having the most despicable man alive to finally get it through my head. I don’t need them to love me, or adore me, that’s not why I’m Ladybug.”

Ladybug stood to her feet and slowly opened her eyes. “And, I don’t want to listen to you anymore.” 

A calm washed over her like a wave, and Ladybug soon became submerged by a bright white light that shined all around the room. She felt it move all around her, through her, clearing her mind and taking away her pain. It was clarity and understanding, everything she needed to know. 

Everything that no one else would never know or understand. 

She wasn’t going to deny her faults, but embrace them. Everything that she couldn’t be for others she could be for herself. 

The light dissipated, and Ladybug was keenly aware of the absence of the dark voice in her head. She let out a sigh of relief. 

Something felt different though. Ladybug looked down at her hands and feet, twirled around to try and get a better look at her back. Her suit was different. The light had been something she created, and it had changed her. 

Looking out in front of her, Ladybug saw a pure white butterfly floating a few feet away. As she stretched out her fingers, the butterfly landed on her. Ladybug smiled.

“Is that an akuma,” A frantic voice said from behind her. Ladybug turned around quickly, and, surprisingly, the butterfly did go away. Chat was standing in front of the open window, a shocked and confused look on his face. 

“No, no. No, no, no. It’s okay,” Ladybug said. “It’s fine I purified it… I purified it without using my yo-yo.” 

Chat’s eyes widened in surprise. He looked her up and down, mouth hung open in awe. “You look… different.”

“Good different,” Ladybug asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Radiant.” 

Ladybug laughed and walked over to the window, urging the butterfly to fly off. Chat joined her at her side, the two of them leaning against the window pane. Ladybug sighed, and spoke, trying not to look at him. “I was worried… I didn’t know if I could do that on my own, so I called you. I’m sorry. You came all the way here and probably had to leave class.” 

“If you text me SOS, nothing is going to stop me from getting to your side,” Chat said. “Even if you can end up fixing it all on your own, which is probably the most likely case.” 

Ladybug shook her head. Chat leaned forward farther, and she could now see his expression in the corner of her vision. He looked worried.

“Did Hawkmoth… Did he try to akumatize you,” Chat asked, his voice shaking. 

“Yes,” Ladybug said, not bothering to try and hide or lie about it. “I let everything get to me. I believed it for a moment. I’m not going to anymore.”

“Good,” Chat said. He clenched his fist. “Now that I don’t have to talk sense into you, I can clear my schedule for kicking Hawkmoth’s ass.” 

Ladybug hummed, leaning over and scratching underneath Chat’s chin. “I’m so lucky to have you, kitty.” 

“I did say you and me against the world,” Chat said. He grabbed her hand, holding it firmly, yet gently in his own. Ladybug couldn’t pull her eyes away from him, and that was exactly what he wanted to get his point across. “That includes dispelling rumors about you, and defending your honor to the very end.”

“How chivalrous,” Ladybug said. Chat frowned, clearly not appreciating her joke when he was trying to be serious. Marinette leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you.”   
  


Chat’s face turned bright red, giving Ladybug another thing to giggle about. “So, do you want to celebrate my new powers and outfit upgrade with ice cream at the Eiffel Tower?”   
  


“I’m supposed to be in school you know,” Chat said, quirking an eyebrow. “You are, too.” 

“We deserve a break once in a while,” Ladybug said. “How bad can missing one day be?”   
  


“You’re right,” Chat said, shrugging his shoulders. Ladybug laughed at how easy he was to convince. “If we get in trouble, I’ll be thinking of you in detention. Wherever you are.” 

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.” 


End file.
